the new boy

finally....last night i got to see mr. crush again. he came over and woke me up, so we could go out. ready, we left and he bought me dinner, next to lead me home to smoke a bowl. this turned out to be rather funny, because my lack of sleep was making me hallucinate.
pooja and mandy came over to drink a few rounds, then we left to go to jake's. at the bar, he sat next to the wall, facing me completely...knees on my hip. beers later, i was comfortably resting my hand on his thigh, and it felt nice. shots all around, and then he got up to go the bathroom, and pooja was like...
"dude, he totally likes you."
"oh...no....please..." though smiling at the sheer thought of it.
she kept on, trying to convince me to hit on him. well, they left to go to stacks and see a friend, so he and i moved to a booth. bathroom time for me, and i find a pee buddy who's 21st was that night. my rum soaked ass then went and bought him a shot, and me another beer.
back at the booth, we talked and laughed, and he mentioned he wanted to go to where else so we could dance. i alerted the friends, and we left.
well, we were like 2 of 10 people there, so i let him know i was not going to be dancing with him, but i would play some beer pong. we ended up playing 2 or 3 rounds, but i was doing most of the drinking because he didn't want to get drunk since he had to drive home.
---brief memory fade---
next, we're at my friend john's apartment. john feeds me shots like i'm needing them, but we headed to the porch to smoke. well, mr. crush (he looks like hugo weaving.....hence the pic) got really close and smiled, and i couldn't take it anymore. i grabbed him and pulled him tight and kissed him long, hard, soft...oh any way i could.
open door
"woah...." john says, shocked. he didn't know i'm gay, and i kept apologizing, but he just kept saying, "no man, it's cool, 's cool."
then we left, and made out in my apartment. i begged all i could to try to get him to stay, cuddle, and sleep in each others arms, but he refused. his mom needed the car in the morning.
i woke up in a high....that giggly, smiling, walking on air stuff, but i'm back down now...since everything sunk in. i don't think he's into me....so i'm just left disappointed. what's new in me and guys....ugh

ohhhhh hugo...