Americans are often left wanting more. I have given most of the blame for this on technology, because everything is so "instant gratification" these days that if there is any waiting or delay, we get pissed off that we aren't getting our way.

Dictionary.com offers many definitions of the word "more," but my favorite is, "something of greater importance. " Sometimes, still, I find myself wanting more. This often makes me feel selfish and devoid of any pride because really, why can't I just sit back and enjoy what I have? It's always like, "Awesome...I really wanted this Hard-Fi cd...but damn it! I want that Mika cd too!" Why can't I just sit back and enjoy listening to the Hard-Fi cd? The Hard-Fi cd will always be there for me, because...well...it's mine. The Hard-Fi cd is comforting, and pleases me when I need it to. So tell me, why is Mika over there calling my name?

I can tell you why. It's because I want more from Hard-Fi. MORE! At night, when I lie in bed and feel lonely, Hard-Fi isn't there holding me tight and wishing me off to dreamland. Hard-Fi isn't there to kiss me when I don't initiate it. Inanimate plastic tends to not move on its own...especially if it were to involve human emotions. The Hard-Fi cd sings me good songs, and I really like to listen to it...but sometimes I just want it to say more. Like suddenly I will buy the international version, imported from Britain, and it will have one extra song that will make everything complete. That I could finally sit there, and listen to everything Hard-Fi has to say, completely satisfied and happy.

Not to make anything better, but then you're living your life, and eventually you're friends are introduced to the Hard-Fi cd. Well, they don't like it! Blasphemous I tell you! Can they not tell what good music is when they hear it? Hard-Fi makes me happy, and that's all that should matter. You bringing down the cd with all of your negative speak about how weird a song or two is doesn't help me. It actually just makes me doubt my judgement of the cd. I was completely happy, and impressed with Hard-Fi's talent, but now you've gone and suggested something, and the little voice in the back of my mind that MAY have had a criticism, is coming out to meet and greet your opinion, and trying to see if they would be good friends.

So now I want even more from Hard-Fi, like suddenly, they have to reprove their talent to me.

Just maybe I will find that import, and Hard-Fi will give me just the little bit more I want. We'll see...but eventually I will get tired of Hard-Fi, if they can't muster up the talent that Mika is willing to give me.



Yesterday kicked off the "big weekend" as a lot of the gays call it. It is Indy's Pride weekend. You might compare this to a Mardi Gras of sorts, because it seems to be the perfect excuse to go and make the biggest ass of yourself as possible. Pride? Really? I'm not sure if I could run around claiming that I'm this so-called "proud" to be gay. I mean, I'm comfortable with myself, but I live a different life compared to a lot of the other queers. Since it's pride, everyone seems to believe that they must pull out their most ridiculous outfits accesorized by rainbow bracelets, shirts saying, "I love cock" and so on. I don't know about you, but I definitely want to go celebrate with a bunch of ass-less chaps, leather suspender wearin, whip carrying, make-up wearing, shirtless fags running around saying "Heyyyy gurrrrrl." Pride, to the gays, apparently means "the loss of dignity for oneself." I'm gay, sure, but I'd like to think that I fit in a little bit more in the world. I look for a long-term relationship, hopefully some day turning into a family. I wear decent clothing, nothing TOO gay. I don't run around with shirts on saying, "Ew, vagina!" So tell me, why would I want to go "celebrate" being gay, with a bunch of guys that make me ashamed of what I am. THIS is the shit that gets televised, and those god-loving, difference haters see on tv, and just solidify their hatred for the homosexual community. Who wouldn't? Hell, I'm gay, and when I see a bunch of half naked fags running around in super shiny silver speedos, waving rainbow flags and humping everything within a 5-foot proximity, I'm embarassed. Embarassed for them, and embarassed for me, because that's the community I "represent."

Unless you haven't guessed, I will not be attending Pride this year, or any year near in the future.