I just finished a weekend of gay boozing. I say gay, because all of it was either with gay people, or at a gay bar. Seriously, those gays love to drink. I was talking to one guy, and he said that he has been out every night for the past 2 months. TWO MONTHS! That's ridiculous, unhealthy, let alone, expensive. Oddly enough, he had the most obtrusive and typical personality, and afterwards I had to profess my dislike for him. Coincidence? I went out both nights to Greg's, or "Our Place" as the older guys call it because that was it's previous name. SFA took me there, and I think he was in a position to think that it was a date, which I MIGHT have let him believe the week before, but both nights I thought I made it blatantly clear I had no intentions of dating. I kept talking about my interest in other guys and I made sure as to not let him get too close, or kiss me. He's a bit upset now, but he'll get over it. I mean, SFA does stand for "Strictly Friends Aaron." Those were our terms when we first met, because he is the first gay guy friend I have made here in Indy. I find myself to be really uncomfortable in Greg's. I don't feel like I fit into the gay culture, or something like that. A couple of guys on Saturday took it upon themselves to give me some tips on how to dress, and redid the outfit I had been wearing. I feel dumb and naive about things like that. I always find myself shocked in the gay scene, which, you would think by now that nothing would phase me. Everytime...it still does. For instance, there was this adorably cute/hot guy probably around my age, and he was sitting at the bar with this guy who couldn't have been any younger than 55. G-ross. As if that wasn't enough, later I saw them making out, and SFA told me that the old guy is always there with younger guys like that. So, I'm thinking they're either escorts, or they are getting some sort of compensation for it all. I just can't imagine being 22 and being with someone who is more than THIRTY years older than me. Sheesh!
Anyway, the weekend was fun. I met new people, which is always great, and I guess I learned a little more about the gay culture, which is always useful. Maybe one of these days I'll understand it all.
I've been missing Justin a lot lately, yet not in the conventional way. The only time I ever miss him is when I go to bed, and I'm hugging my pillow, I remember how great he felt in my arms. "God himself did make us into corresponding shapes, like puzzle pieces from the clay." Thank The Postal Service and Iron & Wine for those lyrics. Other than that though, I really don't miss him. I was thinking the other day, I didn't even cry over Justin. Not one tear. Then, I couldn't even remember the last time I cried, which is very awkward to me. I am usually so in touch with my feelings. Maybe I've become numb.