I had a great weekend. This weekend was great because 1) I met a boy, 2) I went to X-fest, 3) I played euchre and got drunk, and 4) I met a boy. So why, you say, do I need to vent?
Because I liked the boy.
You may still be confused, so I'll bring it down. Friday my friends and I wanted to play euchre, but we didn't have a 4th. Well, I called Zach the night before to see if he had wanted to play, but he didn't return my call, so I just assumed he was like all the other gay guys who can never live up to what they say. Surprisingly, he called back later in the night. So we went to pick him up. and played and got drunk. It was a lot of fun, and we didn't end up sleeping because we were up talking and making out. During the "session," he invited me to go with him to the X-fest the next day, and that he would buy my ticket. So I'm thinking wow, this boy must actually like me if he's offering to take me to meet his friends and pay for my ticket. So we go to his house to get ready, get alcohol, and head to the concert. He's so cute....god....but I wasn't going to let him know that I thought that. So we tailgated and drank and smoked, which was completely unnecessary because I was still drunk from the night before. Yadda Yadda, fast forward to the night. I'd gotten lost and finally found them again, and we were sitting in the lawn. After a while, he put his arm around my shoulders, and mine around his lower back, and were talking, and he leaned down (he's 3 inchess taller....mmmm) and kissed me. I was like ahhhh, I could DEFINITELY get used to this. Well, then I got worried that we were going to get shot, but I didn't care. lol.
We went back to his house and hung out for a while. A few times eating, or making out. There was one point he was like "Can I come over and make out with you now?" lol. But then at one point he was like
him: You're not the normaly type of guy I look for.
Me: so....then...Why me?
him: I don't know, just kiss me.
him: tell me I'm ugly.
him: tell me I'm fat.
him: I'm tired of people telling me I'm perfect.
Me: (laughs) You're not perfect.
him: You're not perfect either.
So I'm like umm...ok. We went to bed together, and slept naked, but NOTHING bad happened. We just cuddled and talked. Neither of us could sleep, which I didn't mind. I just liked laying with him.
Anyway, I know what I typed doesn't sound bad at all, but I just have this feeling that he's one of those guys that just plays around. Like I would REALLY want to try and progress things with him, but I'm afraid distance will be an issue since we both don't have cars. I don't think I'm "attractive" enough for him.
I'm just going crazy and I have no reason to. My friends are like, don't rugh it, which I know, but I'm just so lonely. and I'm sorry to say it, but I got used to sleeping with him 2 nights in a row. lol. He just made me feel.....good. But I don't think that happened the other way around.
Listen Suggestion: She Wants Revenge- I Don't Wanna Fall In Love