So I finally asked Justin why it ended. The undefined ending was really bothering me, and I had a lot of time today to hash out my feelings and thoughts. Eventually, I decided that I needed a reason to hate him. If I could hate him, I could process these residual emotions and move on with things, free to be whatever. Finally I messaged him, kind of harshly to be truthful. It went something along these lines:

Phoenix: Cliff's Notes version, I need a reason to hate you. If I can find one, I can process and move on freely. We both know you are a bastard, so just let me know what shallow, insincere, thoughtless reason you ended things for.

Well, eventually it came down to it...He thinks I'm VERBALLY DOMINEERING. I chuckle at that, because I actually put those words in his mouth. Originally, it went something lik-a-dis..."Boi, u two smart 4 me." Hahahahaha, no, just playing. It was like, "You make me feel stupid when you talk to me because I feel strange that I don't always know what you are talking about."

Funny. So, actually, it turns out that, in fact, I was too good for HIM!

1 comment:

chimes. said...

i just read ALL of you blog and fell a little in love with it.
I have a gay brother and he's 1/2 closeted 1/2 out. Like everyone knows he's gay but he never really speaks of it. So i loved reading your blog, it kinda gave me perspective of where his thoughts might be.
Good Luck on your driving test.