Turns out Justin took me to dinner last night at Joe's Crab Shack, so that would technically be the 3rd date. Now, since date 4 is already established, I'm pretty sure he's going to be the first guy to make it passed the 3rd date mark. It's been decided that for timing, traveling distance and such for the re-enactment, that I will be staying the night at his place on Friday. He's picking me up after he gets off work, so that should be anytime from 5-6, doing dinner...then, shit, I don't know. I mean, I've never been in this situation. Does the "staying over" part indicate that I am expected to have sex with him? Truth be told, I'm not ready for things to move into a sexual relationship. Honestly, I've never really had that happen....this way anyway. With Baker, everything was drunk, so it didn't really count b/c we didn't have inhibitions anyway. This so-called relationship I have with Justin has been entirely sober.

So really, the dilemma is this: Justin and I have been on 3...semi to very good dates. But...we have yet to kiss. I'm not sure if he's one of those wait around for me to make a move, or what, but it's kind of ridiculous. I'm personally acting like the wait around for a move type, because I don't feel consciously comfortable around him. He's in much better shape than I am...like hard belly and everything...that I don't feel equal enough in superiority to make the move, because he could be like "Ew...this fat, sweaty, and gross man is touching me..." (I've actually heard him utter those words in a story about someone else.) He makes little gestures, like coming in to meet my mother yesterday after dinner. Then we played N64, (because we're just THAT cool) and during Mario Kart he kept tickling me/wrestling...all that good flirty stuff, I assume to drop down the barriers of touching. As we were like cuddling, (Mind you, the only thing of his actually touching me were his legs, he was nowhere near putting his arm around me or anything like me) I kissed him on the cheek, and I'm about 73.5% sure that he went "Tssss...." (You know, that sound people make when they think something is stupid; usually equipped with a roll of the eyes) So I'm like hmmm....strange. Later, he proceeds to put my hand on his crotch, and, well...it was awkward. I didn't do much of anything except for keep removing my hand from there! I'm like SERIOUSLY! What are you wanting? I'm not going to sit here and jack you off while my mother is in the other room. I'm certainly not JUST going to jack you off because you think I'm a hideous beast and wouldn't dream of returning anything near the same favor.

So really now...What IS to be expected of this weekend. Jarred says that because I'm staying the night that we are a couple. I don't think that's true at all...especially with the gays.

Maybe he has a mouth phobia. Anyway...I'm just kind of frustrated about being sincerely clueless.

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